On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
