can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
