he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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