and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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