Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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