the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
