I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
