Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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