just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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