They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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