are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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