you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
