This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Define "chronic" masturbator.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
