I hate all girls vehemently.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
