dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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