Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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