fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
