My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
