i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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