You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
