last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize