if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize