my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
