I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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