butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
