so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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