put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
