I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I will be naked everywhere
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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