I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
