I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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