At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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