My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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