He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
