what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
