Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
