I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
