everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
