There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
