I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
