every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize