that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
