OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
