She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
