Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
