The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
