marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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