im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
