sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize