he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
