Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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