ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
how does that bad decision feel?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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