Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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