Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
