hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
