You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
