She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
