we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
